Friday, June 27, 2008

HE:MAN versus SHE:WOMAN

i tink tis topic is "quite" interestin.. sangatlaa..! ahahhhhh~ ;pp

  • tis is taken frm Cleo june'08. ni lah karakter-kerekter seorang lelaki/wanita idaman..

hw does de idea of de perfect woman cmpare to de perfect man..??


BODY
he: muscular, fat-free but not bulky (bulky?? wrestler? O_o)
she: slim, fat-free but voluptious (yeahhh.. certainly. dat's EXACTLY whut they:MEN always dream of)

HEIGHT
he: at least 6'3", nt > 7'1" (every gal wants a man who is taller than her)
she: at least 5'8", nt > 6'5" (bt sum prefer small,thin,petite gal.. <<<--mengikut statistik couple2 di sekeliling.. p kan.. klo pkai heels aci ark?)

HAIR
he: short, lustrous, radiant (errmmm.. nope....??)
she: long, bouncy, glossy (whut if she wears scarf..? helooooo.. there're more than whut meet de eyes owkay..?)

EYES
he: arresting, piercing (well..welll.. ;))
she: flirty, demure (ow..kayhhh...)

NOSE
he: strong
she: sharp
** dah tuu.. yg idong jambu ayer sume tak hensem..tak lawa..tader org nak ehh..?? klo wat nose job plak.. aci..??

AGILITY
he: acrobatic
she: contortionist
**kire jugakkk... LOL!!!

STAMINA
he: ultra-marathon
she: marathon *sheeeesshhh*

SPEED
he: faster than she-woman (well..of course!! jatoh ego beb..)
she: fast (hmmmmmmm O_o)

KNOWLEDGE
he: encyclopaedic
she: sufficient (lagi ske klo pompuan tataw pape kan..? ;/)

SMILE
he: sexy, bold (josh duhamel..? heeeee~~)
she: coy, decorous (dunno.. u guys figure out sniri laa)

HUMOUR
he: brash
she: modest
**paper jelahhhh..... ;pp

CONDUCT
he: conquering (ske ati je.... :((
she: yielding (banyak laaa.. excuse me...????)

APPETITE
he: voracious
she: sensible (klo ngah date takkan nak melantak kot..?)

SEX
he: to dominate
she: to serve
**still underage.. tader komen ye bang..!!



  • de rest nye jumpe kat satu website.. The Ladies Room tak silap.. p tak ingat address nye.. p memang lawak.. dan sangat betollll..!! ;))


HE VS. SHE

The family picture is on HIS desk: Ah, solid, responsible family man
The family picture is on HER desk: Her family will come before her career

HIS desk is cluttered: He's obviously a hard worker and busy man
HER desk is cluttered: She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain

HE is talking with his co-workers: He must be discussing the latest deal
SHE is talking with her co-workers: She must be gossiping

HE's not at his desk: HE must be in the meeting
SHE's not at her desk: She must be in the ladies' room

HE's not in the office: He's meeting customers
SHE's not in the office: She must be out shopping

HE's having lunch with the boss: He's on the way up
SHE's having lunch with the boss: They must be having an affair

The boss criticised HIM: He'll improve his performance
The boss criticised HER: She'll be very upset

HE got an unfair deal: Did he get worried?
SHE got an unfair deal: Did she cry?

HE's getting married: He'll get more settled
SHE's getting married: She'll get pregnant and leave

HE's having a baby: He'll need a raise
SHE's having a baby: She'll cost the company money in maternity benefits

HE's going on a business trip: It's good for his career
SHE's going on a business trip: What will her husband say?

HE's looking for a better job: He knows how to recognise a good opportunity
SHE's leaving for a better job: Women are not dependable



THE ANSWER IS NO..!!

QUESTION: CAN MEN EVER WIN?

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.

If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

If you thump her, it's wife bashing.

If she thumps you, it's self defense.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.

If you don't, you're a fag.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.

If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.

If you don't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.

If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you're oversexed.

If you don't, there must be someone else.


THE ANSWER IS STILL NO..!!!

QUESTION: CAN WOMEN EVER WIN ?


If you can't go down on them, you're not a good partner.

If you can go down on them, they are jeolous that someone taught you how.

If they pay for dinner, you are using them.

If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them.

If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework.

If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to do all of the housework.

If they want sex, they won't let you sleep.

If you want sex, they won't wake up.

If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care about their taste.

If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like, they tell you to dress however you want.

If you are polite and friendly to their friends, they want to know why you are coming on to their friends.

If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you don't like their friends.




konklusinye.. isu HE vs. SHE ni memang takkan habes.. ingat ni je: Men are frm Mars.. Women are frm Venus.. 2 dunia berbeza... tapi still saling memerlukan.. huhu~~ ;))





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